Hi (:
My name is Stella.
Seventeen candles on the 24th December '10. I ♥ cMusic, ROBERT PATTINSON, and my family friends.

DETERMINATION
is the rule.
you know you love me
xoxo


put a more detailed profile here. (:




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at 4:18 AM

Dear Diary! :DDDD
It's been awhile! Finally the school holiday is starting! 2 weeks.
MuHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAA........
There are lots of things that went through my mind...
I read up on many things.
What i want to talk about most importantly, is the new person i met.
When i first met her, i thought she's a weirdo.
Like those kind of freak that looks at people weirdly, talks with people weirdly.
But somehow on that day she enlightened me.
As days move on while smsing her, she sound perfectly alright.
But when i meet up again, it was strange.. really strange.......
She kept asking... why do i look so miserable? Why do i sound so miserable? when i am not, and shes the one feeling it.  So i told her no, i am happy..
5 seconds later the trend will repeat.  and seriously.... it sucks.
It painful and it leaves me into adversity into considering to break up e friendship.
Sometimes it drives me crazy too.
Because she doesn't believe in friendship...

HAHA. well it's okay! i should be feeling blessed every single day!!!!
Everyday i'v gain knowledge, wisdom, happiness.
AHAHAHA.... how good can it go? ^^


at 6:46 AM

These few days... i had been reading on some really inspirating books...
Somehow,i stumble upon them because.... i was feeling a lil.. *poked* by some1.

There are some things that happened to me today...
FIRST... as i was e first for both oral.. so... i had to stay to complete them..
After i completed and went back to class... it was empty...
So, i went to search of my oral book, in need for improvment..
And settled a while... i was thinking.. hey it look so empty, gives me a lonely feeling, but it is a good environment to study..
And suddenly 3 guys came in...
one commented *That one loner la*
I knew it was a verbal abuse... but i wasn't really that angry at what was being commented...
I was taking it as a feedback... like hey... maybe i need to go to somewhere else that has more ppl... and i was thinking... where have they gone to?
Then... i decided that... shortly i went to e library.
And i went to find a sit... there are few of them inside...
so i wanted to focus on building up my oral... as i didnt do well... and then i was feeling...weird.
Someone is giving out the aura... someone is sensing i am alone... Immediately i knew who...
So i switched to another location... which made me feel more welcomed...and i stayed till they came.
They actually didn't knew what had happened... they can't see it from my expression of course..
While i was telling them somethings which is really interesting and joyous things that has happened for the past few days...
One was listening quite patiently...
The other only listened until i finished talking and immediately change the topic, turn to e other person and talk to her what she wants to say...
And thats what i called.. insincere listening...
I texted my bestie...
she replied one... and then perhaps she was busy...

oh yeah... i remembered... my bestie actually... confessed to me about a lie..
I was hurt at first, of course. But eventually i felt that it was insignificant to feel hurt..
I dont allow such things to destroy such a great friendship... and i forgave her...
I feel a lil stuck when she doesnt reply my msg..
But she would call me and tell me why... she wouldnt ignore me and forget it..like how the others do... for that... i really appreciate it with my heart..

And i thought about all these things...
I was thinking that... hey i'm not that lonely the moment i saw someone only had a dog for companion...
no family, friends, relatives...
But i have.
The world simply dont allow me to be lonely or alone.. because there are so many creatures living around us..

I really enjoyed the moments with my family now! and of course. i celebrate my lil improvement deep in my heart. i feel happy of my success, i feel happy that i overcame things which i feared a lot last time.

There's this funny thing that happened... i was asked to buy KFC....
Then when i was ordering... the crew suddenly say, hEy, that guy wants your no. !
I was like. huh? who? lol then she point to a guy, working as KFC crew cleaning some things, back facing me.
and i was like... errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr????!?!?!?!?
i'm here to buy KFC... lol
okay.... then i didnt want to give. lol
*rejected* :DDDD
This proves to me so much! The no. of people around me don't matter..
It not about how long i spent being with the person..
Its e sincerity... understanding...
I really cannot stand it when ppl don't understand you...
It simply.. sucks!

I feel blessed, because im able to find sources to redeem myself from all the pain!
I'm on my way, learning to be strong. and i believe one day i will make myself a better person!